Sod it\u201a let’s offend everyone!! I came out of the chip shop with a meat and potato pie\u201a large chips\u201a mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said \u201cI’ve not eaten for two days.\u201d I told him \u201cI wish I had your will power.\u201d I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently “Young Blacks” and “Romanian Gypos” were not the correct answers. A fat girl served me in McDonald’s at lunch time today. She said \u201csorry about the wait.\u201d I said \u201cdon’t worry dear\u201a you might lose it eventually.\u201d I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out\u201a he looked at me and said \u201cAny change?\u201d I said \u201cNo\u201a you’re still black\u201d. Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself\u201a fat chance with a face like that! An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him \u201cWhat’s wrong?\u201d The boy says \u201cMe ma is dead\u201d. \u201cOh bejaysus\u201d the man says \u201cDo you want me to call Father O’ Riley for you ?\u201d The boy replies \u201cNo tanks mister\u201a sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.\u201d Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslims\u201a I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works better ! Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut. I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself …….. I’m going to have that. Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him \u201cWhere am I ?\u201d The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. “You can’t fool me\u201a you’re in that basket up there.” I had a Trivia competition in the bag until the very last question ……. which I got wrong. The question was \u2018Where do women have the curliest hair ?\u2019Apparently the correct answer was Fiji .. A woman has a medical at the Doctors; \u201cyou are grossly overweight\u201d he says. \u201dI want a 2nd opinion\u201d\u201a she exclaimed \u201dOK – you’re bloody ugly as well\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sod it\u201a let’s offend everyone!! I came out of the chip shop with a meat and potato pie\u201a large chips\u201a mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said \u201cI’ve not eaten for two days.\u201d I told him \u201cI wish I had your will power.\u201d I took my Biology exam last […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1100,"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions\/1100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/back-to-values.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}